why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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