woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
