I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
