Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
