you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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