Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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