i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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