girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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