I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
