We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize