Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
