We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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