there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
