I want to make a zoo with you.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I love having hate sex.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
