From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
