hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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