I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize