i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
