Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
is wine microwaveable?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
