If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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