like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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