Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
