So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
