I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
