party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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