Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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