I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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