nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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