This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
