I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
