Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
