Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
