i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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