That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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