he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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