Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
