Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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