You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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