At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
These tits shall not be calmed
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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