wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize