Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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