So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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