He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
