I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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