dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
