If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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