my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
