im drinking this country out of the recession.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize