I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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