I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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