I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
