yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
