I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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