the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
