Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
