Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
