he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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