I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize