she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
soo... how was my night?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
