just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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