i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
