the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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