Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've blown a few things in my day
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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