that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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