I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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