Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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