i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
