Sponge bath it is.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
