i just wanna soil my oats bro
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
