so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What a fucking waste of an outfit
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
