I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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