we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
