Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
They took my balls.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
