I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
