How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
