He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
