Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
