Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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